Insensitive, Oldie, Hubris

These were my realizations last night. I had to prevent death due to pancreatic failure so I reflected while waiting for the football inside me to deflate.

I was as cold as an ice this December. My tongue was faster than my mind. I received Atlas Shrugged as birthday gift from Rose Lyn but had to tell her if we could exchange the book to another because I received the same book from Brian two months back. I was insensitive about the hardships she had been through just to get a copy at Fully Booked.

I received Speculations from Ate Anna as Christmas gift. While handing down the gift which obviously had the shape of a book, according to her I told her, “Hindi na ako nagbabasa ngayon…” I couldn’t believe I have done these. To bloggers, I am not a rude person but yes, I can be insensitive. I never had the intention to hurt their feelings in these situations. Maybe I was too preoccupied but this is a lousy excuse. I couldn’t rationalize my actions. The best I could think of is, “I’M SORRY.” Of course, they have forgiven me because they are my friends. Rose Lyn wrote me, “You taught me how to love a friend unconditionally.” It’s like, you’re a bastard, but you are still my fried. Ate Anna said, “Ano gagawin ko e ganyan na talaga yan…”

This can be self-incriminating but for the past few days my mind is working harder than my heart. I am lucky to have friends who always remind me of what is to be “humane.” We indeed tend to be robotic in the pursuit of so many things, not realizing that behind any success should be significance. I should start re-marrying John Maxwell this holiday season.

* * *

I am getting old but bereft with wisdom given the aforesaid scenarios as evidence. I love listening to Bee Gees and Andy Williams nowadays. I’ m targeting to have Beatles next year. I realized how melodious and more relaxing the music genre before than the contemporary’s.

Last night, I was amazed by a feature on oldies by The Correspondents. I learned we now have the Philippine Retirement Authority tasked to lure foreign retirees and old balikbayans to spend their twilight years in the country, an excellently income-generating brainchild of top government officials. We have selling points – rich tradition as inherent nurturers, tropical environment, and lower cost of living. Given the aging population of the First World, the Philippines will most likely boast of its 7,107 Homey Islands for the Aged. Our caregivers do not have to leave the country because the elderly will instead visit them here.

The program is still exclusive for the moneyed. Income from these services will hopefully redound to the poor’s old 10 to 20 years hence. I hope its service will not be just like any other GOCC. The elderly are fragile and sensitive. They have to be well-taken care of so that the future generation will uphold the legacy of paying tribute to our forebears.

* * *

The Philippine government has shown its hubris as a host of the postponed ASEAN Summit. The construction of the Cebu International Convention Center at a hefty P1 to 2 billion indicates the government’s wrong priorities. The same amount could have been used to elevate the quality of life of squatters in Cebu by generating livelihood programs. It could have been used to aid typhoon victims in the Bicol Region.

The expense reminds me of the Marcos extravagance amid the country’s poverty during his regime. It reminds me of one of the causes of the Asian financial crisis when Bangkok erected numerous skyscrapers despite low takers. It reminds me of monuments in North Korea that exhibit pride in a historical legacy that seem to siphon social services among Nokors.

Cebu Governor defended that the trickle down effect will not be felt yet but only in the next 10 years. I agree with her proactive stance but do we have to be proactive when we have so little to live with at present? Proactivity is usually encouraged when the status quo is stable but stagnant. We are only stagnant but not yet stable today.

I hope we learn from the lessons of unnecessary extravagance. The façade may be grandiose but if the foundation for the rationale of constructing the CICC is shaky, the grandiosity is forgotten in favor of hypocrisy.

Intoxication

For the fourth time of my entire life I was drunk (or just tipsy) last December 2. It was my birthday; I missed the feeling of not minding anyone but myself so I downed 5 mugs of beer and two shots of Black Russian. I had to drink a lot of water and pee many times in order to be “detoxified” so that I can go home safely. We ended the party at 12 midnight after hours of singing, dancing, and laughing; things that I can’t do while inside the classroom.

When intoxicated you forget about your problems and obligations. It is, thus, less surprising why so many people get into this habit. You enjoy the warm company of “drinking mates” who might be with you for the same reason. The spree creates a world devoid of pressure as long as everyone in the venue has the mindset to enjoy and enjoy and enjoy!

Each one of us is intoxicated not by liquor or by any form of beverage but by the idea of pleasure. We have inherent hedonistic desires that compel us to find them. Whatever is pleasurable becomes a need. Who would not want the happiness brought about by eating chocolates, fine dining with friends, and touring the country with family?

Intoxication is good only with good intentions. Some get intoxicated by avarice for power and money. They attain this at other people’s expense. They wreak havoc to families, friendships, or any other relationships. It is a form of intoxication that is not worth spending for hours and not worth planning with cohorts.

I’m glad that during my birthday, even if I was too frantic and at times irritating I was drunk with good memories with good friends.