March 31, 2008

Goodbye

My two nephews, both two years old, held my hands like escorts ushering me to the terrace. I was already dressed up, ready to return to Manila after a week-long stay in my parents’ house for the Lenten season. My nephews knew that my get-up was a prelude to my departure. There was a transformation in their behavior. It was a paradox of my daily encounter with them because usually they turn the house into a jumanji. Either my mother or the nanny was like a member of the police dispersal unit in stopping these robust toddlers from “wrecking havoc” at home. (I wonder how I was like when I was their age!)

They looked so calm and mabait with eyes that resembled Tweety Bird’s. They obviously wanted a favor. They were always at my trail. But I was mum to break the news that I could not bring them with me. It would be a huge responsibility to do so.

A few minutes later, I hailed the approaching Victory Liner. I unlocked our hands, immediately kissed my mom to bid goodbye, and I proceeded to get on the bus. I heard a loud duet of cry. I did not look back. I do not want to see their faces because the tone of the cry seemed to mean I broke a promise. When they grow up, they will understand how grown-ups think and live. I hate this goodbye.

* * *

The long trip bored me so my eyes wandered inside the bus and tried to feast on the view outside. My seatmate has a black eye. I wanted to ask but the question could inconvenience him. So I did a sightseeing instead, even if the sunrays rammed through the glass of the new aircon bus. I saw farmers harvesting palay. I saw vast cornfields, a carabao smelling its mom’s behind (probably as a signal that it wants to lactate), lahar deposits of Mount Pinatubo eruption that drained what used to be a body of water. Clear water started to accumulate over a gray bed of sand or lahar. The altered “geographical landscape” (if such a term is valid) promises a “new life”. Probably, after two decades, this will be a significant body of water with new life forms.

Then my eyes closed.

When I woke up I was already at NLEX and I knew I was at the entry point to the urban city. The landscape is like a rainbow as plants are alternately arranged to provide a color contrast. I saw a phalanx of subdivisions developed from agricultural lands. The structures have begun to depict majesty. On the contrary, I believe that the majesty is a façade of the social cost of urban development as the Philippines continues to import rice from its neighboring countries. Importation is not inherently bad but when you import due to the government’s misplaced priorities, then it becomes a thorny issue. Ironically, an agricultural country like ours that used to teach farmers from Thailand through the International Rice Research Institute (IRRI) has a reversed role now: the consumer instead of the producer. Is this a total goodbye to our competitive edge? I hope not. I hope we begin to learn the value of our asset as a tropical country with vast fertile lands. I hope the government starts to prioritize the concern of the majority by always looking into the long-term effects of its current actions. Sadly, we only learn the value of something once it is out of our midst.

* * *

I am not sure but goodbye seems to be in the offing. Technology can easily connect…and disconnect too. Too bad I am missing the inspiring and meaningful messages. The communication just stopped. We had pleasantries before the Holy Week. I sent several SMS but there was no single reply. Was the phone lost or stolen? I do not know. I hope I will be informed. I can understand whatever reason, except this deafening silence. It breeds vagueness that has dragged me into the vastness of uncertainty. If the silence persists, then my hunch is confirmed: Silence is an indisputable right. I cannot question it myself.

* * *

Goodbye my students. It is my honor to have become part of your college life. I hope and pray that you will achieve your goals. Don’t be scared to start from below because there is no other way but up for those who work hard and for those who love their work. Maintain the highest degree of work ethics because at the end of the day, no regret will hound you if you know you did the right thing to do.

This is the kind of positive goodbye. Pain is not very grueling because the departure is the onset of spanning greater heights. When you become successful, return to Far Eastern University and join the academe so that your wisdom can be shared to those who will succeed you.

March 27, 2008

A Pimple Named Joeven

Finally, I was able to “steal” from my own time this leisure of blogging. I have long wanted to write these… (Quite a long blog)

Just like some students I was inching my way to squeeze into the throng of spectators who were desperately trying to have a peek on the human exhibit of some telefantasya and Filipino mythical characters last February at the FEU Mass Com Fair. I bumped one of my research students and joked, “Kumusta naman ang mga tigyawat natin diyan?” (because the pimples were much bigger than the usual.) The student replied while pointing at the swollen minute hills on his face, “Joeven po ang pangalan niyan…”

We burst to laughter. It was a funny but true realization that some students had a hotbed of pimples due to stress caused by school workload and the pressure of deadlines and, sometimes, dealing with freeloaders of the group. Of course it is unfair to attribute all the stress from me because they have other equally taxing subjects like Radio and Television Production and Information and Political Campaigns. But I was informed that according to my research and debate students, taking these subjects with me was a “double jeopardy”. According to them, the subjects were already difficult plus I was “difficult” as a teacher.

I admit I demand more from my students. I believe and I have always told my students that the real measurement of growth is when you do things that are greater than yourself. I have always tried to push them harder so that they will realize that they cannot only do it, but they can be very good at it. It is the same principle I wrote in “Comfort Zone” in the 100 Essays where I penned I may be misconstrued like Saddam Hussein sowing terror in the class; but my goals are genuine; that is, to bring out the best in my students.

True indeed, they became better students. Most winners of the Best Thesis Award of the 2nd Communication Research Colloquium of FEU Department of Communication were my students. They were so happy during the awarding in the same manner that the sight of their fulfillment overjoyed me. Some exhilaratingly jumped and embraced me as if I just arrived from the airport after years of work overseas. I am so proud of my students—all the finalists. Their hard work, patience, and competitive paid off. Special congratulations to:

Ingrid K. Velasquez, Jaymen Amihan, Arby Laraño, and Francis Garcia for bagging the top prize for their study “Marketing Principles for Philippine Independent Films.”

Ann Margaret Antonio, Ma. Katrina Cirilo, and Ailyn Nierra for ranking second over 15 finalists. Their study was titled, “The Social Responsibility Role of May Trabaho Ka”.

The third placers shared by three teams: Lovely Rose Magdayao, Katherine Imson, Charisse Concepcion, and Rove Tan for their study “Mariposa sa Likod ng mga Rehas: Coping Mechanisms of Gay Detainees”; Nona Palima, Mary Eleine Samonte, and Bryan Angeles for their study “Role of Social Experiments in Noypi Ikaw Ba To? in Promoting the Value of Honesty”; and Richiel Tolentino, Julius Paquera, and Jaemie Lopez for their study, “Helping OFWs: Communication Strategies of OWWA for Program Implementation of Social Services and Family Welfare Program”.

Thank you to Prof. Josefina M.C. Santos of UP Diliman and Profs. Bong Espinosa and Gene Pamittan of FEU for spending the whole day with the Research Cluster as judges for the thesis defense and presentation.

To all finalists, thank you very much for providing a tight but friendly competition and for helping enrich communication and media studies.

* * *

Now that the semester is over, I hope that no pimple shall be named after me. Summer is a period to relax where stress becomes a matter of choice. I just hope the La Niña phenomenon will not spoil the escapades of beach buffs who have worked out really hard to tone their bodies just so they could strut confidently this summer with their beach wears.

My summer is something to look forward to. Sources of pleasure are promising yet very tedious at the same time. My friends and I have already booked tickets. There is the thrill of getting lost in an unfamiliar but exciting territory. Jia you. We just need to prepare more “fuel to add to the fire”, so to speak, in order to maximize the pleasure of the travel. After that trip, I need to work in Palawan as organizer of a conference on speech communication. I hope I can find enough time to have a sojourn and “commune” with its pristine beauty. For now, I have to rush the full paper for three conventions I am expected to attend: two in May, one in August. I hope I can beat the deadlines.


* * *

The reflection and synthesis papers of my debate students are worthy of re-reading. I am very happy that they have seen the value of the subject as a communicator, professional, and as a person. Most of them shared the importance of reading news and current affairs in understanding social issues in the country and abroad. It was an eye-opener for them that everything that they say, as much as possible, has to be validated through facts and analogies. The discursive nature of the subject, according to them, has boosted their confidence in self-expression and has improved their spontaneity. I hope that the techniques they have learned will be handy as they join the workforce. My best wishes!

I was particularly struck by the reflection of one student who thanked me for giving her a very important lesson in life. In her paper, she shared that she once asked permission from me through a text message one night if she could re-schedule her oral exam the next day because she needed to fix a family problem. Instead of allowing the re-schedule, she recalled my SMS which read, “One of the things I’d like you to learn in my class is to make decisions in life.”

A textual analysis of my SMS now has made me realize that my student already started to make a decision in life. My classroom policy states that when you are absent during scheduled oral exams, the chance to debate is forfeited and the student will get a grade of zero. I bend this policy when the reason is really justified. (Note: Justifiable reasons have been qualified in class). She was probably not focused at that time due to her predicament and instead of sacrificing the quality of her performance she opted to request a re-schedule.

My SMS made her decide on her own. She made a choice, which to my mind is a sign of empowerment to a certain extent. In life there will always be crossroads. Friends and mentors, sometimes, will not be around to guide us always. Even if they are present, the decision still lies on our hands. They can only do so much, sheer “guides”. When we fail due to our own decision, there is no one to blame. But there will surely be a lesson learned. If we succeed, the decision was worth the risk. Surely, there will also be a lesson learned. Which reminds me of Dalai Lama’s word, “If you have a problem and it has a solution, there is nothing to worry. If you have a problem and it has no solution, there is nothing to worry.” True indeed, the counterpart of a problem is a solution. If you cannot solve it anymore, why waste your resources?

This kind of anecdote heartens me as a teacher, one reward that no money can buy. For my student, if you happen to read this, I’m so proud of your strength of character. I’ll always pray for you and your family. I am not privy to your predicament but always remember that this challenge will make you a stronger person. Pray.