Lethargy

I probably need a break very badly. Lately, I found my life so routinary. I am no longer challenged by what I am doing. Several reasons can be factored in: (1) I wanted to balance tasks at the same time but my schedule didn’t cooperate; (2) An environment that does not perk up my passions or interests.

What keeps me breathing is the need to earn for biological survival and some interesting personalities in campus:

1. My friends who drag me to be involved in some diversions like watching movie, conversing over a mug of coffee, and food trip courtesy of The Affluent Brian Tan.

2. Eyes of students who want to learn or simply pass the subject. Their fervor can be encouraging even if you're jaded inside;

3. Some who’ve got a crush on me even if I am not an attractive human being (?)!;

4. My fans (foremost my mom) who believe I can be other’s torch.

I don’t mind becoming the “light” but I can’t continue to radiate one if my reservoir of oil runs dry. I can’t do tasks only for their sake. I need to drill and crack crude to produce the needed oil.

As scapegoat, I noticed my current fancy for electronic gadgets. I bought ICT devices pretending to be techie even if I am not. I derive pleasure from fidgeting the keys or customizing them according to my preference and at my convenience. I have no intention of becoming a control freak; I just hate a system that goes out of hand thereby tolerating mediocrity, false idolatry, and illusions of grandeur. I want changes but I lack the bargaining chips or the resources to realize them.

“Be patient,” one told me. “Patience is a virtue,” another mused. I hope I’m still alive and the problems remediable before I go berserk in defense of truth, excellence, and justice.

I’m keeping my fingers crossed for one great event this September. I will be the happiest if it materializes as it will open a different chapter of my life.

God bless me.